CHANGES
by Jammy Jam Jam Jams
Summary: A continuing story about the changes of Buffy. She's changing, but is it for good or for bad?


  
  
CURLING SMOKE, PART 1  
---  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters. They belong to Joss & Co.  
---  
  
"She's changed" Xander whispered to Willow as he saw their friend, Buffy, lighting a cigarette.  
  
Willow nodded in agreement, "She never used to smoke. Just look at her, Xander"  
  
Buffy Summers. She once was a caring, Slayer, but now she didn't give a damn what happened to anyone.  
  
Xander observed Buffy's dyed hair. She had coloured it black to suit her dark mood and her face was decorated with black make up.   
  
Buffy drew the cigarette into her mouth and then she exhaled the smoke. Her lips shivered slightly as she held the cigarette in her hand. She knew it was wrong and she knew that it was bad, but she couldn't care less.  
  
"Buffy?" Xander mumbled as he stepped closer to her.   
  
Buffy looked at him and signalled him to speak. She didn't have to say a word.  
  
"We're worried about you, Buff. You've... changed" Xander told her.   
  
Buffy was sick of hearing everyone pointing that out to her. Wasn't it obvious that she already knew? Everyone was worried about her yet there was nothing to be worried about.  
  
"Yeah, and we think that this is not how a Slayer is suppose to be like. It's not good, Buffy" Willow chipped in quietly and her eyes met with Buffy's. They were so sinister and threatening that Willow wanted to leave the room.   
  
"I don't care" Buffy finally spoke and she stubbed out the cigarette, "I'm still Buffy, aren't I?"  
  
Xander and Willow backed away from the person that they thought they knew so well and they walked out of her house.  
  
Buffy motioned their every move and tears were determined to climb out of Buffy's eyes, but she controlled them. Buffy didn't cry anymore. Crying was something that Buffy crossed off her life list. No more crying, no more slaying, no more life.  
  
---  
  
Spike didn't like the new Buffy either. He was (ironically) scared of her. He missed her strong, loving personality so much that he was certain that he was falling out of love with her. Her past personality made Spike find Buffy adorable, but now... nothing. He didn't feel a connection with the girl. She repulsed him in many ways. She still had her beauty, but she didn't have her heart.  
  
"Hey" Spike finally found the courage to talk to her, "You know that's a disgusting habit" he was referring to the cigarette. Buffy had smoked so many that she now found it addicting.  
  
In reply, Buffy just nodded her head. She didn't look up. She just stared out at oblivion.  
  
"And I miss her" Spike gulped and he leaned against a brick wall whilst he waited for Buffy to speak.  
  
"Who?" Buffy questioned him. She didn't seem the bit interested, but she wanted him to continue.  
  
"Buffy. I miss the Buffy that use to tell ME that smoking was disgusting and the Buffy that kicked my ass in once in a while and the Buffy who... who could love someone. Buffy, haven't you thought about how Dawn is feeling?"   
  
Buffy continued to stare out at nothing while breathing out smoke. The smoke curled around her fingers and they made a unique pattern as Buffy exhaled.   
  
"Why should I care? She's not my real sister" Buffy spoke harshly.  
  
Spike didn't know what else he could say to convince Buffy to change back to her normal self, so he broke down. He didn't want to... not in front of her, but he was too upset to hold back the tears, so he drowned in them.   
  
Buffy could hear Spike crying behind her, but she didn't move. She wanted her old life back, but she didn't want it at the same time. This life that she was having seemed to have more good points than bad to her.  
  
Buffy's make up began to run as her black mascara was being covered in droplets of rain. Buffy still didn't move. She didn't care if it soaked her through. She wanted to stay outside with Spike.  
  
"Sorry" Buffy whispered to Spike, "Sorry, but I prefer this Buffy. I changed, because I didn't feel the need to be who I was before. I didn't like it, so isn't it better that I like my life than to despise it immensely?"  
  
Spike looked up and stared at the back of Buffy's head and he noticed something... her hair. The dye was coming out and Spike could see the lovely, golden colour that it use to be and Spike beamed. Was she coming back?   
  
Buffy stood up and stared directly at Spike.  
  
"And I won't be coming back" she told him, straightforwardly, whilst she finished her cigarette, "Have the last puff on that" Buffy threw the cigarette at Spike and she ran.  
  
Spike felt tears emerge again as he picked up the cigarette. He could smell her sweet fragrance on it from when she glided it swiftly past her neck to straighten her hair. He could taste her when he took the last puff of the cigarette and he watched her running. Running away from him, her old life, and everything that existed.  
  
---  
  
"Dawn..." Giles approached the lonely fourteen-year-old as she entered the Magic shop, "Are you alright?"  
  
"You're referring to the changes of my sister, aren't you?" Dawn muttered and she slammed her school bag down on the chair, "If so, I'm NOT alright, Giles. She's suppose to protect me, but now she does nothing, but ignore me... I wish- I wish my mom was here" Dawn got quieter with each word she spoke.  
  
"Dawn, I don't know what we can do. I think all we can do is wait. Wait for her to return to us" Giles advised as he walked closer to Dawn and stroked her hair. He had never felt the need to come closer to her until now.  
  
"I know, but- but it hurts and I miss her" Dawn whispered and started to cry and Giles comforted her.  
  
"We all do, Dawn. We all do"  
  
---  
  
TO BE CONTINUED   
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
